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Je Joue Mimi Soft review: Here are the things I wish I knew ten years ago

July 19, 2018

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The product: Je Joue Mimi Soft Waterproof Rechargeable Vibrator

There’s a lot of things that they don’t teach you when you turn 18: how to do your taxes. What to actually look for in a partner. How to pick the Je Joue Mimi Soft out of a crowd.

This is a toy that I’ve loved before. It was my very first sex toy review on theNotice, and I’m still head over heels for it. My original one died (I mean, it has been three years), and Je Joue were kind enough to send me a fancy, updated replacement for it.

The best love story isn’t a whirlwind –

It’s a slow burn that makes you feel safe.

The Je Joue Mimi Soft is a lot like that. It starts off gentle, a deep thud-thud-thud in contrast to the loud bzzzz of most vibrators. Its soft silicone outer layer squishes against the skin for an almost organic feeling. And it climbs, with +, –, and ~ buttons to build, decrease, or variate the vibration settings.

A healthy romance follows the same pattern, and I wish I had known that at 15. Instead, I got swept up by the same media that everyone else does: you’ll know your love is real with big acts of devotion! They’ll run to the gate at the airport to stop you from leaving for your dream job; you’ll get in a huge argument but it turns out they’re only yelling because they love you!

What you don’t learn, at 15, is that a healthy relationship doesn’t look anything like a rom-com. You never end up crying at the airport, because a good partner supports your goals and told you how they felt months ago. No one ever declares their undying love for you in a screaming match, because they’ve created a safe space for you to discuss your feelings instead.

I never learned what a relationship built on shared goals and mutual respect looked like, but it’s the #1 thing that I would have told myself about 10 years ago.

Your pleasure is important.

I lucked out with really sex-positive parents who let me know that it was normal and healthy to masturbate at a young age, but I had to figure out on my own that your partner should find your pleasure to be just as important as theirs. (#2 on the things I’d have told my past self!)

I love sex toys because they help people (especially people with vaginas) prioritize their pleasure. The Mimi Soft introduced me to the legendary simultaneous orgasm – not, apparently, just a movie myth. It was a great experience, and one that I appreciated having access to, but honestly?

…It’s not all that.

Which wraps in thing #3: your orgasm doesn’t have to happen during intercourse to have value. It’s okay to do it before, after, on your own, not at all, or eight times over the course of the evening – whatever makes you happy. Our society puts a huge weight on partners, especially cis male partners, to “perform” during sex by making their partner come without clitoral stimulation, but the idea that every person “needs to” (or even can!) orgasm during penetration is a huge myth that’s unsupported by clinical evidence.

Things are going to change a lot, but having constants will help.

For me, the constants in my life are mostly my family. No matter what changes I go through (or how sick I get), I know that they’re always going to be there to love me, support me, and make me laugh. (#4.)

Not everyone gets a biological family that meshes as well as mine does, but family doesn’t have to be biological. It’s important to take the time to nourish your relationship with your family, no matter who they might be in your life.

The Je Joue Mimi Soft isn’t a part of my family, but it’s weirdly one of my constants. I can always come back to it and know it’ll get me off, at any point in time over the past 3 years. When my first one died, I was totally blocked – I was so distracted by the “but what if I can’t???” that I couldn’t orgasm for a week.

The new one is even more reliable, because (#6!) change can be good. It has an updated charging cord with larger magnetic contacts, so I never close my sex toy drawer and accidentally bump it off of its charger. In the original Mimi Soft, with the same velvety silicone skin and waterproof body, the intensity buttons served as its charger. In the updated version, the silver surrounding the buttons take that place.

The Je Joue Mimi Soft verdict?

I’ve loved this sex toy for years, and my love for it continues. I wholeheartedly recommend the Mimi Soft as a clitoral vibrator if you’re looking for something with gentle to intense pressure, rumbly vibrations, and a discreet, easy-to-transport shape. Its uniquely soft body paired with great vibrations make it a key part of my pleasure repertoire, and I think it’s pretty obvious: if I love it enough to have two, I’d definitely recommend trying it.

Availability: $88 CAD at Come As You Are (that’s just $66 USD!) and $94.99 USD SheVibe.

Tags: /Product Photos, Product Review, Sex

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Maybelline Matte Ink Huntress, Seductress, Philosopher review, swatches, photos

July 16, 2018

Rae Chen

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The product: Maybelline Matte Ink in “The Un-Nudes” in 60 Poet, 65 Seductress, 75 Fighter, 85 Protector, 90 Huntress, 95 Visionary, and 100 Philosopher

I wear these lipsticks on and off, if by “on and off,” one means “constantly.” There is nothing I hate more than not knowing what my face looks like at any given moment, which means that bold colours are usually out of the question for me – unless liquid lipsticks are involved.

I’ve talked about the Maybelline Matte Ink formula before. It was introduced to me at the end of 2017, and became a staple for me by February of 2018. I even added to my collection for Valentine’s Day – Pioneer is the perfect red.

Maybelline Matte Ink swatch in Huntress

The Maybelline Matte Ink formula

I’ve reviewed the Matte Ink formula before, but I have a couple updates to add. To begin, the things that stay the same!

The doe-foot applicator on these dispenses just the right amount of product, and its shape makes it easy to apply. These lipsticks are best applied in 1-2 light layers, and should dry within 90 seconds. (Some shades are stickier; some more matte.) The formula smells slightly sweet but the scent fades quickly, and they’re not significantly drying.

I can get 3 hours of super-comfortable wear out of these, or 7 with a bit of tightness. They last through meals and drinks, and hold up with about 70% reliability to hardcore makeout sessions.

Maybelline Matte Ink swatch in Philosopher

However. The formula is, when compared to other liquid lipsticks, slightly tacky. My Smashbox Always On Liquid Lipstick, for instance, feels significantly drier than these. It’s not a bad thing, but it’s noticeable enough that even my partner has mentioned it: “it’s like not even your lips want you to stop kissing me!”

He’s also mentioned that he can feel them on my lips, like a thin, plastic-y film. Again, it’s not a dealbreaker–and we both prefer these to regular, messy lipsticks–but it’s notable.

Maybelline SuperStay Matte Ink lipstick review, swatches: 60 Poet, 65 Seductress, 75 Fighter, 85 Protector, 90 Huntress, 95 Visionary, and 100 Philosopher

The Maybelline Matte Ink Un-Nude shades

I loved the formula of the four Matte Inks I tried originally, but the shades weren’t really my colours. (Other than Voyager, which is basically my jam.) This time around, though, I already knew I loved the formula – so it was the shades that knocked me off my feet.

The Un-Nudes are fascinating: I have here four brownish nudes and three purpleish “nudes.” And they’re also just a little bit genius.

Greys and purples aren’t going to look “nude” on every skintone, but they can look “un-nude” on some complexions. The best example that I can give you of this is Maybelline Philosopher, which balances on a line between colourful and natural against my cool skintone. It’s a wonderful lilac shade that brightens my entire complexion when I wear it.

Unlike many traditional nudes, these violets don’t draw the eye by being out of sorts with my colouring. Instead, they enhance it – while adding an interesting twist.

Maybelline Matte Ink swatch in Seductress

Maybelline Matte Ink in Huntress is another standout, with dark purple tones that read grey against my skintone. It’s a great alternative to black for those who want a greyscale look, but aren’t ready to commit to something as dark as a true black. (The softer shade makes the mouth look a little larger, too.)

For traditional warm nudes, I’ve turned the most to Maybelline Seductress and Protector. Seductress is quite warm, and looks a little “Instagram” on me, while Protector is more of a nude for a dark skintone. On me, it’s a statement lip; a dark mix of chocolate and red clay.

Maybelline Matte Ink swatch in Protector

The Maybelline Matte Ink verdict?

My stance on the Maybelline Matte Inks remains the same: these are my favourite liquid lipsticks on the market. Other brands do them slightly better, but not at this price point – which is something that I factor into my purchases.

For an “Un-Nude,” I recommend Maybelline Philosopher for those with fair skin – but I think I want to try a few more kiss-proof formulas before the hunt is done. If you have a favourite, leave it in the comments below!

Availability:$9.49 USD/$11.99 CAD. Permanent at Ulta, Walgreens, Target, and most major drugstores and mass market retailers.

Tags: Maybelline Matte Ink/Lips, Maybelline, Product Photos, Product Review, Product Swatches

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The chronically ill person’s guide to budgeting

July 9, 2018

Rae Chen

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(Or; how to allocate your energy as a person with fibromyalgia.)

This is a guide for people like me, because I know that there are a lot of people like me. It’s not a how-to, but it’s full of things that I wish I knew when I got sick. When you become chronically ill, your entire life becomes about resource allocation. Like everyone else, you only have so much energy to go around, but unlike everyone else, that’s often a matter of minutes each day.

Your whole life shifts. Problems like “do I have time to see my parents, go out on Friday, and go to yoga this week,” become “do I have the energy to make dinner and also eat it.” Your day becomes compressed into tiny little capsules of being able to do things (see friends! Have sex! Buy groceries!) interspersed with hours upon hours of lying in bed, listening to podcasts.

But amongst all of that, there was one lesson that I wish I had had someone tell me the day that I was diagnosed with fibro: it’s okay to make things easier when you can.

Learning from my father: Buy whatever makes your (chronically ill) life easier

My dad and I have a lot in common. We’re both pretty brainy people with fibromyalgia who run businesses that began as passion projects. We both really love my mom and sister. We both grew up with frequent sleep paralysis and night terrors – which, as a teen, helped me realize that my dad was always, always, a l w a y s going to be there for me.

My father has always instilled in me that there is no shame in buying things that are going to make your life easier. That means things like: a super-smooth new razor from Dollar Shave Club (at half the cost of a pink razor from the drugstore, and half the need for shaving daily), ten-second-foundation from Pür Minerals (this is my second pan), and the right lens for the job (this post was shot with the Sigma E-mount 60mm F2.8 DN.) You do not always have to be struggling to prove how sick you are.

(To cite that same article from Esmé Weijun Wang: one would hope.)

Tips from my mother: Allocate resources towards things that mean you can do more

My mom has taught me more than anyone else about resource management. We went to Europe together this spring, and she insisted on pushing me around in a wheelchair in every museum we went to. It was tough to get to a point where I felt like I could. Having a chronic illness is one thing, but showing people that you have a chronic illness is something else altogether.

If it’s going to mean you can see more things, she told me almost every day of our trip, then stop arguing with me and get in the chair. My mom has always been my biggest cheerleader when it comes to allocating resources in a way that’ll help me experience a “normal” life. And she’s always right. It’s worth it to make other people uncomfortable with my disability if it means I’m not going to be in as much pain.

Other things that I wish I had put in the “spend” category back when I originally developed chronic pain and fatigue: taking cabs to get to appointments, refusing meetings that aren’t going to be constructive, buying a really good mattress early on, and being “lazy” in long, hot baths with Yuzu Soap Bath Bomb Cubes to release tension through my thighs and glutes.

A generational focus: Make space for your own growth

My final category of things to “spend” (money, energy, intimacy, time) on are things that are just for me. It took me a long time to realize how important personal growth was – and I don’t mean picking a goal and sticking to it. I mean figuring out who you are, despite being chronically ill, and playing with whether or not that self-concept is something that’s still achievable for you.

This is the space for indulgence. I will spend on things that help ground me in a moment, when it’s hard to focus through the brainfog: Saje Spa Spirit and Serge Lutens Santal Majescule. I will spend on things that help ground me in my gender: Burberry Poppy Black and YSL Bronze Pyrite.

And perhaps most importantly of all, I will spend on things that help ground me in my body: things like like the Montelle Intimates Gatsby set, and anything else that makes me feel, for a moment, like this flesh belongs to me.

—

Lashes: KISS Lash Couture “Little Black Dress” Lashes ($5.99 USD).

Tags: /Fashion, Fragrance, Indie brands, Other, Ramblings, Skincare

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Burberry “Poppy Black” Nail Polish review, swatches: A gender story in black lacquer

July 5, 2018

Rae Chen

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The product: Burberry Nail Polish in Poppy Black (No.299)

I’ve never been able to wear nail polish.

I remember the first time I put it on. I was maybe 11 or 12, painting my nails a pearlescent nude-pink from L’Oreal at our old kitchen table with my aunt. She was a vision of glamour in my preteen eyes: tanned and beautiful, with a magazine smile and the most perfect honey-brown hair you’ve ever seen. I wanted to live in her skin. I wanted to look that comfortable.

But I also remember the way the polish felt on my fingers. Like I was suffocating from my nail beds; like they were were heavy and I was wrapped in thick cotton.

The Burberry Nail Polish formula

I’ve painted my nails a lot since then. I’ve done a lot of things since then: got braces, graduated from high school, had sex. A lot of it was for theNotice; some of it was just for me. I’ve painted my nails enough to know which brands I love, and enough to know it doesn’t feel right.

Until today.

Burberry Poppy Black ($23 USD/$25 CAD) feels right. It feels like an adornment instead of a disguise. It’s partially because it’s Burberry, I think: there’s something unquestionably luxurious about wearing expensive nail polish; a treat that’s truly just for you. To everyone else, it just looks good. To you, you know that you spent those extra few dollars just to make your life easier. (Because let’s be honest. Drugstore brands are great, but nothing applies like an expensive nail polish.)

The Burberry Nail Polish formula is glossy and rich; free of toluene, DBP, and formaldehyde. The brush has a rounded edge, and each shade is opaque in one or two coats. They last for days: I never notice chipping until five days later, even without a base coat or a top coat.

The magic of Burberry Poppy Black

But it’s a little more than that, too. I own a few Burberry polishes, and they never disappoint, but I don’t feel at home in the others.

Burberry Poppy Black is different. Black polish from a luxury brand is a lovely little anomaly: too punk to be classy, but prestige enough that there must be some degree of intentionality. It feels at home here – heavy, never suffocating. And textbook perfect on short nails; combatively gender-fluid in a subversive way that doesn’t often become a topic of discussion. It’s good with a topcoat, as I’ve shot it here, but I prefer it without. (Its glossy finish is always smoother alone.)

My little bottle of Burberry Poppy Black is my girl-disguise, my quiet attention-grabber. It’s just what I want: you, looking near me.

Availability: $23 USD/$25 CAD at Burberry, Net-A-Porter, and Nordstrom. Shades vary based on country and boutique.

Tags: /Burberry, Fashion, Nails, Product Photos, Product Review, Product Swatches, Ramblings, The Edit

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Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow review, swatches, photos

July 2, 2018

Rae Chen

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The product: Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow

Summers are softer than the rest of the year. Soft edges, soft textures, soft beds – a mess of blurry lines. It’s the only time of year that I’ll wear bronzer, and a blush like this one (with its cloud-like brush) fits well into the season. The Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush is something that I would never touch in the fall, but want to roll in a bed of it all summer long.

The look: I can’t quite describe what it is about this blush and bronzer kit that I love so much. Both shades are well-pigmented, and best suited for fair skin. The bronzer is soft and easily blendable, sculpting the face without looking muddy. And the blush is… Unremarkable, in a remarkable way. It looks like any other shimmery coral pink, a bit reminiscent of mass hits like Nars Orgasm. (Minus the inane gold shimmer.)

In the pan, neither of these shades look like much. But on the face, they create a wonderfully sculpted result. They’re well-pigmented, the blush more so than the bronzer.

Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow swatches (indirect sunlight)

Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow review

The brush: This kit comes with the Charlotte Tilbury Mini Artistry Blush Brush, which I’m suspecting is the reason why it’s so goddamn expensive. The brush is divine. It’s plush and soft, with a distinctive high-end-artificial feel. It doesn’t buff product into your cheeks, it strokes them.

I’ve tried this cheek kit with different (worse) brushes, and the results are never quite the same. It just goes to show that makeup is never just one thing: it’s always a matter of product, technique, and tools.

The Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow (Light to Medium) mood

At almost $100 CAD, the Charlotte Tilbury Filmstar Bronze & Blush Glow is not something that I’d call a must-have. But as a literal vanity piece–something exorbitantly expensive that’s going to sit on your vanity and class it up for ages–it’s delightful.

This set is definitely expensive, but I sort of look at it as a half-blush, half-brush equation. Charlotte Tilbury is a high-end line, and the Bronze & Blush Glow is barely more expensive than the Bronze & Glow duos – making it a more comprehensive option at a similar price point.

Availability: $98 CAD, online only at Charlotte Tilbury.

Tags: /Charlotte Tilbury, Cheeks, Product Photos, Product Review, Product Swatches, Spring/Summer 2018

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SinfulColors Pride review, swatches, and flag coloured mani!

June 21, 2018

Rae Chen

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The products: SinfulColors Pride polishes in Resilient, Sugar Pumpkin, Bye Felicia!, Envioius, GoGo Boy, Love Thy Self, Call Me Violetta, and Pride

Every June, brands from all kinds of industries launch collections and ad campaigns to show their support for pride month. Some campaigns are better than others (I don’t believe for a second, for instance, that banks who refuse to support sex workers want anything more from pride month than a boost in their bottom line), but the SinfulColors Pride polishes are just… fun.

Identity is so closely linked to appearance for many, and the SinfulColors Show Your #Pride collection was designed to make an entire rainbow of colours available. Their June nail polish collection is the Loud & Proud Pride Collection, “celebrating the historic victory for same-sex marriage and civil rights last year.”

I loved shooting these and playing with the collection, but dear reader… don’t forget. Pride isn’t about a party. It’s about a riot.

Why SinfulColors nail polishes are great

I don’t wear nail polish as a general rule, but I’ll put on a manicure for theNotice. (I don’t like how it feels on my nails, or with my gender.) For years, however, I made the same mistake that most non-nail-polish people do. I reached for drugstore polishes from mass-market brands.

Different brands work well for different people, and SinfulColors is a brand that works well for me. Their polishes are thin, with a round brush and blunt tip. They need two coats, but they go on evenly. They’re stunningly affordable, too, at $2-ish in both the US and Canada.

» TIP: Do you struggle with applying your nail polish evenly? I do, too. My favourite brands for a no-mess mani are (at three different price points) SinfulColors, OPI, and YSL. I try my best to avoid Essie, Sally Hansen, and Revlon.

What I want to see from pride collections next year

I have a long wishlist of things that I want to see from brands’ pride collections. I would LOVE, for instance, shade names that reference big moments or figures in LGBTQ+ history. Likewise, actually seeing a percentage of each collection’s profits going to a LGBTQ+ charity would be amazing. (Marriage equality is a big one, but causes like suicide hotlines and living supports for LGBTQ+ teens are essential, too.)

As much as I loved this collection, I would go nuts for a variant of it. This collection was about the pride flag, and that’s amazing – but being able to paint your pride flag would be so, so cool.

I’m wearing Resilient, Call Me Violetta, and Love Thy Self (all LE) in these photos to represent the bi pride flag. In my hand is SinfulColors Pride (perm), a glittery polish that represents my ties to the community and my identification as a queer, polyam individual of colour. On the backdrop are swatches of the entire collection.

Availability: The SinfulColors Show Your #Pride collection is limited edition, but their nail polishes are $1.97(ish) across North America at these retailers. Toluene, Formaldehyde & DBP Free.

Tags: /Nails, Product Photos, Product Review, Product Swatches, Spring/Summer 2018

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LaCoupe Moroccan Rose Naturals Collection review | Re-visiting a drugstore favourite

June 18, 2018

Rae Chen

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The products: LACOUPE Moroccan Rose Volume Loving Shampoo, Conditioner, and Mousse

I grew up on LaCoupe. My family and I rotated through a few different shampoo brands growing up, and LaCoupe was one of my favourites – until I realized that silicones made me break out. I never thought I’d be able to dip back into their super affordable, effective products, but this year, LaCoupe introduced something new: four silicone-free Naturals Collections, including the LaCoupe Moroccan Rose range that I’ve been using for the past month.

The LaCoupe Naturals Collection

The Naturals Collection isn’t just silicone-free, either. It’s “sulfate-free, paraben-free, silicone-free, propylene glycol free and petroleum-free,” and all of the products in the range are just $9.99 CAD.

I love it when drugstore brands come out with natural products, because it makes being picky about the ingredients that you put on your body more accessible. It’s not that I don’t believe in paying more for innovative products; it’s that I think that’s a choice that everyone should be able to make – no matter their budget.

The Naturals Collection offers 500ml shampoos and conditioners, plus styling products, in four categories: Moroccan Rose, for giving volume to fine hair; Coconut Milk, for moisture; Fresh Avocado, for frizz control; and Royal Honey, for use on over-processed hair. All of the products are enriched with coconut water and aloe leaf juice.

The LaCoupe Moroccan Rose Collection

The LaCoupe Moroccan Rose Shampoo and Conditioner are nice – but they’re not what makes this collection so special. They leave my hair feeling clean but moisturized, with very few fly-aways and a powdery rose fragrance. (I use two pumps of each).

No: what I love about this collection is the LaCoupe Moroccan Rose Mousse ($9.99 CAD). It’s a pump-top product that doesn’t release VOCs into the atmosphere, which attracted my attention immediately. It’s a bit of a two-in-one, too. The slightly sticky formula helps give volume to the hair, especially through the roots, but it also offers thermal protection – which is great, as mousses perform best when used in combination with heat styling.

My hair is pretty thin, so I find it easy to go overboard with this product. (It’s not quite as luxurious or oops-proof as my other favourite mousse of the moment.) One to two pumps, from roots to ends, should do it, followed by blow-drying with special attention to the root area. It leaves my hair more voluminous than heat styling without any product, and looks especially great on the third (or even fourth!) day, with the help of a little dry shampoo along the way.

To dip into this super-affordable, silicone-free haircare collection, tuck in at Walmart or Jean Coutu stores across Canada.

Tags: /Hair, Paraben-free, Product Photos, Product Review, Silicone-free, Spring/Summer 2018

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The Body Shop Drops of Youth review: Foaming Wash, Eye Concentrate | A love story in mousse

June 16, 2018

Rae Chen

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The products: The Body Shop Drops of Youth Gentle Foaming Wash and Eye Concentrate

It’s hard to impress me with a foam. I come from the generation that grew up on mousses: plush, VOC-ridden mounds of product coming out of chilly metal containers with a satisfying hiss. But The Body Shop Drops of Youth collection surprised me with their Gentle Foaming Wash – and then topped it off with the equally-satisfying Drops of Youth Eye Concentrate.

The Body Shop Drops of Youth Eye Concentrate ($20.43 USD/$20.40 CAD)

I didn’t find the Drops of Youth Eye Concentrate to be super effective, so let’s start there. I rarely find that eye products really help – but I use them anyways, because I’ll take anything I can get.

My dark circles have been insanely pronounced ever since I had my tonsils removed, and there isn’t anything that makes them budge. So, when I’m on the hunt for an eye product, I look for something like this instead. The Body Shop Eye Concentrate is 100% vegan and is designed to de-puff, not de-pigment.

And it’s good at its job. It doesn’t make a crazy difference, but it’s soothing to put on. The rollerball applicator is great, and I love the push-down mechanism to release product. When I feel my eyes getting puffy (usually in the early spring, or if I’ve been eating too much sodium), I add this back into my routine, and it seems to help.

The Body Shop Drops of Youth Gentle Foaming Wash ($20 USD/$21 CAD)

I’m skipping the “the verdict” section of this post, because this is what you need to know: The Body Shop Drops of Youth Gentle Foaming Wash (a mouthful!) is a must-have.

I’ve tried foaming cleansers before. I’ve used ones from Marcelle, Jurlique, Nuxe… over the years, I’ve tried hundreds of dollars worth of foaming cleansers, and none of them have left my skin feeling half as smooth or moisturized as this one.

This Gentle Foaming Wash is plush. It’s designed to be massaged onto dry skin and rinsed off with water, and the entire process just feels so good. It feels like one of those really toxic, chemical-laden mousses of our childhoods; the ones that could only have gotten so delightfully smooth and full and luscious with the help of ozone-depleting chemicals.

But instead, it’s 100% vegan. It’s cruelty-free. It’s enriched with Italian edelweiss, criste marine and sea holly from the coast of Brittany, and fair trade organic babassu oil from Brazil. And it is absolutely divine.

Tags: /Cleansing, Grouped reviews, Other, Paraben-free, Product Photos, Product Review, Silicone-free, Skincare, The Body Shop

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Henkaa Sakura: Revisiting an old favourite

June 7, 2018

Rae Chen

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You know: I rather thought I would be married in the Henkaa Sakura one day.

Not this dress exactly, but in white. I was so certain that I needed to shoot the Henkaa Sakura Maxi in Pure Ivory for theNotice. And then, last summer, I tried it on – and I couldn’t do it. I wanted to save it, because an ache in my chest told me I’d need to save it for the future.

Dating on the internet is hard. It’s almost impossible to tell what you should say, and when; how your words will be interpreted, and who will be doing the interpreting.

I have an immense amount of respect for people who can run blogs that are full-time personal blogs, because I don’t have the tolerance for it. While it’s helpful–a privilege, even–to be able to process your emotions by literary means, there is always fallout. I learned a lot too late that, when you’re writing about real people, a misinterpretation can stall your relationship; can send a loved one into a tailspin.

Time is a funny thing. You can exist fully in the moment as you go about your day, but still find value in reaching back and re-processing.

The Henkaa Sakura Maxi

You’ve seen this dress before, in what’s likely the most epic photoshoot I’ve ever done. (There was a horse!) If you caught that post, you’ll already know all about the Henkaa Sakura: how it can be tied in over 60 different ways, and cut to any length. (I love the idea of buying this as a wedding or bridal dress as a maxi, then trimming the dress to knee-length and continuing to wear it.) The fabric is tough and silky, making it hard to shear, but giving you a lifetime of pill-free, wrinkle-free, raw-edged wear once you get it down to the right length.

I’ve left this dress a little long in these photos, pooling at my feet. It’s a mood: that melancholy stillness after you’ve done something terrible, because someone needed to. (A final act of service.)

It’s ironic, I suppose, that the dress that I was so certain I’d get married in would photograph so well for something with such longing. I am consumed by worry – although that’s a particularly toxic breed of narcissism that I’ve been feeding for years; a conviction that I have the ability to improve lives, and therefore the responsibility to do so at any cost.

I’m working on it: an active cataclysm of cascading improvements.

Photos taken by Amy Mckissock of Bratty B – a spectacular fissure of a human being; a bleed in the fabric.

Tags: /Fashion, Henkaa, Indie brands, Product Photos, Product Review

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We-Vibe Pivot review (and more) | Father’s Day 2018 gift guide

June 4, 2018

Rae Chen

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Father’s Day can mean a lot of things for a lot of people: a struggle, a joyous occasion, or just a regular day. (It can also mean a lot of wildly inappropriate Daddy jokes.) (Mom, if you’re reading this, I’m sorry but I’m sticking to the joke.) I’m in France right now, but I shot a quick photo of some of my favourite Father’s Day picks of 2018 before I left – including the We-Vibe Pivot.

These picks aren’t restricted to men, and they’re not going to work for every man. Instead, they’re things that men in my life have enjoyed at some point.

Face stuff for Father’s Day

My first two Father’s Day picks are ones that Tuna’s dad loves: the Neutrogena Men Invigorating Face Wash ($4.99 USD) and Johnny’s Chop Shop’s Beard Oil ($12.99 CAD). They’re great for two reasons; the first being that they’re the perfect combination of scented face wash + scent-free beard oil, and the second being that they’re really affordable.

(All the better to spill you with, my dear.)

Father’s Day picks for the aesthete

I’m not cool enough to wear the BERING Automatic 43mm Men’s Analog Casual Watch ($448.99 CAD), but I hope to one day be. (Can you imagine if I was so jacked that I could comfortably fit that band around my wrist??? One can dream.) I covered this water resistant, self-winding, 316L medical-grade steel b e a u t y at the Best Buy plug-in blog, so hop over there for more.

I am, on the other hand, just barely cool enough for the Libertine Fragrance Palo Santo Incense Cones ($40 CAD). I bought these last Christmas for a partner, burned one, and kept them for myself. This palo santo isn’t quite what I expected – it’s smokier and sweeter than most incense, with the sticky undertones of palo santo wood. The scent is fascinating, but I’d recommend it more for someone who loves fragrance than someone with twelve unscented candles and an entire bucket of nag champa incense sticks in their apartment.

(Although I don’t know that for certain. People can surprise you, especially when they don’t really care how things smell.)

A hat tip to the We-Vibe Pivot

The We-Vibe Pivot (at We-Vibe/$103.55 USD at SheVibe/$113 CAD at Come As You Are) was, in all honesty, probably the only reason why this post ever came together. It’s something I tried earlier this year, and as soon as I tried it, I knew I wanted to feature it in a gift guide. Consider it an object to keep in mind less for your own father and more of a gift for any father, friend, or partner in your life who you think might enjoy it. (AKA the future hot dad crew.)

Some fathers have penises. Some penis-havers struggle somewhat more with said organs under things like stress, tiredness, and age. The We-Vibe Pivot lends a helping hand for those who do. It’s stretchy, rumbly, and rechargeable, with a gorgeous, app-controlled, silicone design. It’s not as strong as the We-Vibe Tango, but it has a similar whirr; smooth and not at all buzzy.

I know it’s an unusual Father’s Day gift, but it’s a fun one to add to your life – if applicable. The We-Vibe Pivot is a Father’s Day gift for the modern age: one for a DILF in the making, your best friend who knows exactly which gag gifts really aren’t gags, or your partner who is as much a parent to your fur baby as you are.

(For a similarly super-stretchy experience without the vibrator, try the Tantus Super Soft Silicone C-Ring.)

Tags: /Grouped reviews, Indie brands, Product Photos, Sex, The Edit

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