The SEO gods have spoken, and the SEO gods want… More stuff about butts, apparently. So, let’s talk about how to buy anal sex toys in Canada or the US, especially as a beginner to butt stuff. This is an anal toy guide that’s all about exploring pleasure on your own level—which means doing it safely, comfortably, and (if you want) shopping from the comfort of your own home. 

Looking for an overview of my favourite body-safe sex toy stores? Start with my guide on where to safely buy sex toys in Canada & the US.

Don’t feel like reading? Here’s what I’d buy to start your toy collection:

The b-Vibe Snug Plug 3, njoy Pure Plug Medium (budget option: Crystal Steel Plug), and a Hole Punch Toy for novelty.

Why buy anal sex toys?

When people ask me why the sex toy market is so large (and ever-growing), I have two answers for them. The first is pleasure: People want to feel good, and sex toys are a great way to do that. They help connect us to our bodies, our likes and dislikes, and our partners. The second is safety: Sex toys can be a safe, intimate way to explore new sensations, and unlike partnered sex, they offer a way of doing that that can be an entirely solo project should you so choose. As with other solo sex activities, that means they offer zero risk of STI transmission or pregnancy on their own. 

Anal sex toys have more to offer on top of that, and I’ve noticed my site searches and interview requests for butt-related stuff climbing over the past two years. The anus is intensely innervated, with an overwhelming number of options when it comes to sensation.

Products like butt plugs are an awesome way to explore new sensations, but they’re also a great way to enjoy sex toys without experiencing gender dysphoria. Often, you’ll find sex toys marketed online under cisgendered descriptions: Anal toys for him, vibrators for her, etc. But, everyone has an anus: They’re simply not a gendered organ. Anal toys are an entry into gender-friendly pleasure that can feel more comfortable to trans and nonbinary people experiencing sexual gender dysphoria.

Dysphoria is different for everyone, so that’s definitely not a blanket statement—but it’s one of the many reasons why I love this type of toy. 

Different anal toy base options: ring, line flared, and circular.

Let’s talk about safety & flared bases

The first rule of thumb when it comes to anal play is to always, always, always look for a flared base. I spoke to Dr. Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and Lovehoney’s Scientific Advisor, to provide an expert opinion on the importance of safety in sex toys. 

Let’s be frank: Unlike in a vagina, anal toys can get lost in the rectum. There’s no handy close-end loop where the toy will just stop travelling and you can easily pull it out. If you slip something up there that doesn’t have an end that’ll stay on the outside of your body, retrieval could very easily mean a trip to the ER. 

So, let’s make sure that we instead opt for products with some type of flared base. This is, according to Dr. Lehmiller, “to prevent the toy from being accidentally inserted too far to the point that it becomes irretrievable.” But we have lots of different, safe options of bases to choose from. The most common type of base is the round base, which you’ll see on basic anal plug sets. These come in different sizes, so Dr. Lehmiller recommends that you find a base that’s “large enough that it won’t inadvertently go all of the way in.” If you find that a round base feels too bulky for your preferences, he recommend trying a line-flared base or ring base instead. 

Personally, I find that the bulkier size of a round base can feel comforting. One thing to watch out for, however, is the difference in size between the plug, the flared base, and the neck between the two points. If you’re using a toy with a very thick neck, you could have issues with the plug slipping in (if the flared base isn’t large enough) or slipping out (if the internal plug isn’t much thicker than the neck). Partnered with PIV intercourse, the base of your toy may bump into your partner’s genitals if your vaginal-to-anal distance isn’t signifiant; in that case, try switching base shape or orientation. 

Dr. Lehmiller notes that “it might take a little experimentation to find the type of base that feels best for your body and the way you’re using the toy,” which I couldn’t agree more with. Try a couple different options (or a starter set!) to find your sweet spot as a beginner. 

Let’s talk about lube

Just as important as flared bases is adequate lubrication. For this section, I got to speak with jessica drake about anal sex—the jessica drake; the AVN Hall of Famer, cultural icon, famous sex educator and philanthropist jessica drake (who is currently Wicked Sensual Care’s Resident Sex Expert).

When you’re just starting out with anal play, it’s important to start slowly. Drake agrees: “Don’t,” she says, “let your eyes be bigger than your anus.” Instead, she recommends that new users “manage your anal expectations and start small,” emphasizing that what you see in porn doesn’t show the whole story. You’re not seeing the prep, the lube, the warm-up time—and you’re definitely not seeing the slow stretching that may have taken months or even years to get to a certain point. 

“Lube is mandatory for anal play,” says drake. “It reduces friction and enables penetration because our anuses do not self lubricate.” Not only is lubrication important for pleasure, but it’s also essential for safety; skipping the lube “puts your body at risk for injury and transmission of bacteria and STIs due to tears in those delicate tissues.” To practice safer sex, make sure you’re always using adequate lubrication (too much is always better than too little) and avoid anything that contains a numbing agent, which will prevent you from knowing when you need to “stop or slow down.” 

Drake recommends thicker gel lubricants for anal play. I always recommend a thick, water-based lube as it’s compatible with all toys (and I’m personally allergic to liquid silicones), but for longevity and comfort, you can’t really can’t beat a silicone or hybrid lube.

Types of anal sex toys

There are. So many different shapes and types and materials of anal sex toys that you can choose from. Like, it’s only one hole, but the capitalism really popped off when it came to giving us ✨selection✨. 

Anal beads

Similar to a butt plug, anal beads are strung along one long rope for extra sensation. These are typically used to increase pleasure around your sphincter as they’re inserted or pulled out, and typically have a much smaller diameter than a plug—which can make them an awesome first step for beginners. Pictured here: Lovehoney Classic Silicone Anal Beads 10 Inch.

Butt plugs

The most “standard” type of anal sex toy. Body-safe plugs come in materials like glass, silicone, and stainless steel and can be worn discreetly in and out of the bedroom. Expect these toys to be rounder (like a spade) or narrower (like a slim cone) with a variety of base shapes available including round, line-flared, and ring. Novelty versions may come with variations such as a floral base, an attached faux gemstone, or a furry tail. My favourite place to shop for butt plugs: Come As You Are.

Butt plug sets

As above, but in different sizes for anal training and multi-use. Pictured here: Booty Sparks Pink Gem Glass Anal Plug Set.

Dilator sets

As above, but designed specifically to slowly and safely stretch out your anal sphincter. Dilators are usually longer and more uniform in diameter than butt plugs. They’re great for beginners, but(t) remember: If something hurts, stop or slow down your progression. Never combine an anal sex toy or dilator with numbing agents or numbing lubes. I’d start here: Dilator sets at CAYA.

Dildos

If it’s a dildo with a flared base, it’s safe for anal use. If it doesn’t, you keep that thing far from your butt—no matter now tempting. Explore deeper pleasure with a dildo, and try different materials to experience different sensations. My top brand recommendation: Vixen Creations. Their VixSkin is fantastically realistic and the Vixen Mistress is an anal bestseller.

Inflatable butt plugs

Inflatable products are an interesting category. Unlike other toys, they have to get their shape right twice: Once uninflated and then again inflated. These toys are typically inflated with a hand pump that sits outside of your body, but often achieve their stretchiness by being made from soft, porous materials. Make sure to choose an inflatable butt plug that’s made from a fully-sanitizable material like silicone. My recommendation: Zero Tolerance Bubble Butt, which is not only made from silicone but is also one of the few toys that self-inflates! 

Prostate stimulators

Prostate toys are generally hooked forward to put pressure on the internal prostate, which is found in the bodies of most AMAB (assigned male at birth) individuals. However, anyone can use them—you just might not get that extra oomph of pleasure from the prostate. Major brands include: Aneros, Lelo. 

Butt plug neck diameter differences

Rimming butt plugs

These are a new category! Rimming butt plugs have a motor that rolls metal beads in a circular motion in the neck of a toy. The only one I’ve tried is from b-Vibe and it is stellar. My only recommendation: b-Vibe rimming butt plug.

Stainless steel toys

First popularized by njoy, stainless steel butt plugs and dildos are heavy, temperature-sensitive sex toys that add extra dimension to anal play. They’re compatible with all types of lube and are a very popular choice for a luxury anal toy. My top recommendations: njoy Pure Plug 2.0, njoy Eleven.

Vibrating butt plugs

These are an old category, but very self-explanatory. Look for rumblier vibrations if you want the sensation to travel further and go for a rechargeable model for more convenience and less waste. My top recommendation: ROMP Bass (such a good budget buy!)

Weighted butt plugs

Similar to stainless steel butt plugs, weighted plugs provide a heavy sensation of fullness. However, they are not necessarily finished in stainless steel and therefore do not hold their temperature the same way as stainless steel. My top recommendation: b-Vibe weighted butt plug. 

How to choose a butt plug for a beginner

I started research for this post in 2022 as more or less an anal beginner. I wanted to be able to give a definitive answer on the best anal sex toys to start out with for beginners, and especially where to begin with butt plugs. 

On my journey, however, I found the strangest thing: Even for beginners, smaller isn’t always better. And simple? Simple isn’t always the right choice. So much of selecting the right anal toy for you has to do with materials, shipping (because let’s face it; no one wants to have a box of sex toys held up at customs), and neck diameter. (Again, that’s the thickness of the part of your toy that’ll rest in your anal sphincter, not the size of your own neck.) 

So, here’s what I found. If you’re getting into butt stuff, you should start with your lube. You want something plush, easy to wash off your sheets, and cute enough that you can keep it right next to your bed. Then, you’re going to want to involve your fingers or your partner’s fingers. Lube them up well and have a bit of a play around. If one finger makes your anal sphincter feel quite sore, then start with a very small toy—like anal beads or a small, straight butt plug. If one or two fingers fit comfortably, go with a medium spade-shaped (bulbous) plug as your first toy—anything smaller might slip out, especially if it has a thick neck and a heavy base.

Finally, for materials, I suggest stainless steel or silicone for a starter toy. They’re not your only options, but they’re my favourites. Stainless steel is really nice because it heats up with you and feels weighty in a good way, while silicone lets you get into different product categories like rimming toys. Glass is okay too, but glass toys feel slipperier to me when lubed and have thicker necks as a material necessity. If it’s in your budget, stainless steel is nicer, and silicone has more fun options. (Anecdotally, I’m going to support that statement by pointing out that all of the high-end, luxury butt plugs are stainless steel—not glass.) For novelty and budget options, glass is great, but overall, it’s just not my fave. 

My top picks for my personal favourite starter toys that you can keep for the long haul are the b-Vibe Snug Plug 3, and the njoy Pure Plug Medium. For a sexy budget buy, try the Crystal Steel Plug.

Where to buy anal toys in Canada & the US

Shop body-safe toys safely and discreetly with my Canadian and US faves: Come As You Are (Canada—they have a brick and mortar store in Toronto’s Kensington neighbourhood!) and SheVibe (US). For a wider product selection with great prices on cheaper toys, you can also check out PinkCherry (CA), and Lovehoney (international).

As I discussed in my post on where to safely buy sex toys in Canada and the US, I strongly recommend against buying your sex toys from sites like Amazon. Any type of marketplace- or resale-style store runs a high risk of fakes, which can be potentially hazardous when it comes to items like sex toys. Even if you buy from the brand’s store on Amazon, anything that ships via Amazon all comes out of the same box—so you could easily be buying “from Lelo” but receive a fake item that a different marketplace seller is selling. 

Sex toys are objects that will be in high contact with extremely permeable membranes on your body. Fake silicone toys can contain toxic or irritating chemicals, fake glass toys could shatter or chip, and fake stainless steel toys may be made from cheaper metal alloys. Buying from a certified sex toy retailer may cost a few extra dollars, but it’s well worth it to make sure you’re getting the real deal. (And honestly, in my experience, you actually pay less shopping a sale at a boutique like Come As You Are than you would on Amazon!) 

So shop safely, and have fun.

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Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links and product samples. It’s been pretty extensively researched (ahem) over months and multiple interviews. I hope you find it useful!