One of the greatest things you learn when working for yourself is that you can say no. I know: it sounds counterintuitive, especially in a culture where “yes, and” is vaulted and prized above almost all else. But saying no creates your niche, helps you drive authentic content, and shows everyone else how much you value yourself. Saying no lets you build, whether that’s “no more work” or “No Pong!”

What it means to say no

Saying no is all about setting healthy boundaries and keeping your growth on task. It can mean a lot of things, but I explored it most recently by saying no to a new therapist—something that I regret not doing more often in the past.

Caution: cats melt at 30 degrees

During an intro session, a new therapist asked me if I could send him a link to my professional sex writing portfolio. He was new to the field, and passionate to make connections and find new resources to share with his other clients. “Can I see your work” is a request that I field often when I meet new people, and I usually respond with a HELL YES… But from a potential new therapist?! Absolutely not! For me, that moment felt like the breaking of a cardinal rule; like asking the doctor doing your colonoscopy if she’d like to go for a drink afterwards.

Sure, she might be interested if you met her at the bar, but she’s currently elbow-deep in your body’s waste factory, so it’s probably not appropriate.

It got me thinking about other times I’ve stated my boundaries, and especially about times when I wished I had respected my own boundaries better. And then it made me think of all the time I’ve wasted trying to be polite. If I had walked out of every session where a new therapist crossed a line instead of sitting politely and handing them tissues as they cried (hey, 2019), I could have gotten more out of those days. Not only that, but the person on the other end of the line would have gotten the chance to learn where their boundaries should have been. 

Start saying no

The same thing applies to online work. A lot of brands are going to make outlandish requests of you, and it’s your job to say “absolutely not.”

Product-for-post exchanges happen very commonly when bloggers accept samples. Brands will send out, and some (note: some bad ones) will expect a blog post and/or social media share, just in exchange for the product. Others will expect a blog post and images, plus they’ll send along a sneaky little contract that sates that they’re free to use any of your work with their product in their advertising materials, without ever paying you a cent. 

(Small bloggers, make sure to check your contracts for this language! It’s so, so common with big drugstore brands, and it’s seriously not okay!) 

As an old-timey beauty blogger, I work a little differently. I accept samples for editorial consideration, and I very rarely promise content in exchange. If I like it, I’ll post on it — or if I was planning to purchase it already, and the cost of the product makes it worth my time to guarantee a post. 

A great equation for this is to take half of the cost of product (because the brand isn’t paying itself full price to produce it), divided by the number of hours you’ll spend working on the content. That’s your “payment” if you’re obligated to post, but not being paid a sponsorship fee. Is that a number you’re okay with? For something like a mattress, it may well be: that’s something like $300 for three hours of work, for instance. But for a $20 lipstick? Heck no, I’m not working for $3/hr! 

( Cost of product ÷ 2 ) / hours of work = payment

No Pong Deodorant review

Saying no doesn’t limit your opportunities as a writer, as a blogger, or as a human being in the world. What it actually does is give that time and power back to you. You get to seize that extra hour to have dinner with someone you love, or read a great book, or heck, just take a nap!

You can also take that time and use it to create content that you find meaningful, featuring products that you genuinely like. I gave No Pong the option of sending in a deodorant for editorial consideration, as I always do, and they snapped up the chance. And WOW, am I ever glad they did.

No Pong is (almost) everything I’ve ever wanted from a deodorant. It’s creamy and soft, with great scents and no silicones. I’ve tested and tossed dozens of deodorants while researching for theNotice, but I love this one. It works SO well — I’m not a stinky person, but my partner is, and this keeps him smelling laundry-fresh for 16+ sticky summer hours. He gave up his beloved Mitchum Sport 48hr Anti-Perspirant to test out the No Pong Original Deodorant, and I was nervous: he’s tried baking soda deodorants before, and they’ve never worked for him.

But No Pong worked instantly. It went up to 32˚C the first week he switched over, and he was significantly less stinky when using No Pong Original. There was no armpit itching and no crazy sweaty pits, and the No Pong stayed effective for about 6 hours longer than his old anti-perspirant.

I was equally happy with my No Pong Bicarb Free Spicy Chai, which has a delicious, faint chai fragrance. Our only wish is that the brand made a larger format, or a stick format!

The verdict in this No Pong Deodorant review?

Saying no is an important part of living a rich life. For my picky nose and stinky boyfriend, that means one big thing: saying no stink, or as the Aussies call it, “pong.”

No Pong is smooth and non-gritty, with an invisible formula and two great scents. It’s as simple as its name, and as simple as saying no to things. No, as it’s taught to you in mindfulness therapy, is a complete sentence — and so is “No Pong.”

What’s the best natural deodorant out there for us Canadians?

No Pong.

Availability: $8.95-$9.95 CAD at No Pong (free shipping!) and Well.ca (free shipping over $35 CAD).

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Disclaimer: The product mentioned in this review was submitted by the brand for editorial consideration only. They probably didn’t expect the review to contain 1000 words on how even therapists can be bad at boundary work… but that’s what they got!