The product: We-Vibe Wand Cordless Body Massager

The world is a little bit upside-down right now, so I thought I’d take a moment to realign. Many of us are home on quarantine—and to those of you who are still at work, thank you from the bottom of our hearts for keeping the world going—while we wait out the madness. So, while we have the luxury of going stir-crazy in an effort to keep everyone’s infection risk down, little bites of self-care can be helpful. I’ve been testing the We-Vibe Wand since last year (you can see it featured here, too), and can’t speak highly enough of it.

The We-Vibe Wand as a mover and shaker

The Wand by We-Vibe does more than just rattle your bones and your bedposts. It’s a mover and shaker — an excellent example of a cordless wand in a tangle of corded ones. It stands out, almost alone, high above corded massage wands.  Unlike the Le Wand, it’s waterproof. Unlike the Magic Wand Rechargeable, it’s rumby and smooth-topped. (I’ve always hated the textured heads of Magic Wands, which feel like sandpaper on my skin. I don’t want sandpaper down there!! That’s not a sandpaper-friendly area!) And unlike the Lelo Smart Wand, it’s produced by an ethical company that puts its consumers first.

I’ve spoken at length about how much I love my Doxy Die Cast, and honestly, the Wand by We-Vibe is a comparable, cordless version. Like the Die Cast, it’s heavy-headed and rumbly, with a silicone-coated head and a motor that springs to life. But unlike the Die Cast, the Wand is fully coated in silicone. Its waterproof build makes it easy to thoroughly clean, and the fact that it’s cordless gives you so much more flexibility.

Does We-Vibe Smart Silence work?

When We-Vibe’s parent company (now WOW Tech) bought Womanizer at the end of last year, it was evident that big things were coming. One of those big things is Womanizer’s Smart Silence technology, which I’m pleased to be able to say is now available in a number of We-Vibe models. It uses two points of contact to turn a toy on — in other words, any toy that uses it will turn off and go totally silent if it’s not in use.

The technology is perfect for stealthy masturbation sessions and sultry rendezvous. It works really well, and can be turned on or off to suit. In order to use an attachment with your Wand by We-Vibe,  hold down the Wave button for five seconds. It’ll turn off Smart Silence until you repeat the action, letting you use the Wand in always-on mode until you’re ready to toggle back.

Speaking of attachments: there are two included with the Wand, and they’re… interesting. I don’t really like either of them, but they’re interesting. One is designed to “flutter;” the other, to be a “stroker.” I think it’s nice that they’re included without the need for an additional purchase, and I like that they’re made from velvety-soft silicone, but I’m a purist. I like my vibrators without attachments and without patterns!

What the We-Vibe Wand does

The We-Vibe Wand kinda does exactly what you’d want it to. Seriously: it hits every item on your standard sex blogger’s checklist with precision.

It’s intense and rumbly, with vibrations that are comparable to (but weaker than) the Doxy Die Cast. I’d say that it’s about 80% as rumbly and as intense on high, which is a damn impressive feat for something cordless. If you’re new to wand vibes, this is still a huge step up from handhelds: my strongest bullet vibe (the We-Vibe Tango) is about as intense on its highest setting as the Wand is on its lowest.

The Wand’s entire body is covered in velvety-soft silicone, and it charges by magnetic USB. (The cord comes labelled!!!!) The charging magnets are strong, and they leave the toy 100% waterproof, which is kind of amazing. You can get up to 2 hours of use out of a full 90 minute charge, and the Wand’s universal head flexes gently with pressure. It fits a standard-sized wand attachments from any brand.

Also notable is the Wand’s “joystick-inspired control” for “precise sensation,” which is fine ergonomically but seems to fail in practice. Despite what the company claims, the jumps in intensity—especially on lower settings—lead me to believe that you’re just toggling a standard 10ish-level variation with a joystick. Which is fine and works well; it just doesn’t feel like what was advertised!

We-Vibe’s new app

You can also sync the Wand to your phone via Bluetooth, which is a surprisingly great feature. We-Vibe finally updated their app, and it… kind of rocks now??

This is a huge selling feature for me, as I’ve had a personal vendetta against the We-Vibe app for ages. The new We-Connect app is responsive and easy to use, with a much more stable Bluetooth connection than before. It makes it easy to create your own patterns, control your toy’s intensity, and hand the control of your session over to a partner either in person or long-distance.

The updated app puts the fun back into masturbation. It takes what was once a good idea in theory (but an intensely stressful idea in practice) and turns it into something playful. Pairing takes seconds now instead of minutes, and the connection is maintained until you switch to a new toy or end your session — even when using toys that came out before the app update.

The We-Vibe Wand verdict?

If you’re on the market for a wand vibrator, this one is worth checking out. I love that it’s rechargeable and cordless, and having the option of app control is pretty cool. It’s rumbly and intense—as you might expect from We-Vibe—and waterproof for extended play and easy cleaning. It only comes in one colour, but little indicators (like having a colour tab on the box, and one-option colour selections on some websites) suggest to me that we might get more colour options one day if it sells well.

The one thing that I’m less keen on is the Wand by We-Vibe’s price: at $170 USD/$189 CAD, it’s one of the more expensive body massagers on the market. I think it’s worth it to be able to stick this toy under the tap, but your mileage may vary!

Availability: $170 USD/$189 CAD. My Wand was sent in by the fantastic team at We-Vibe.