*note: this looks worse in the photo than it really does. In real life, it looks like urine. In the photo, it looks like the urine of a dying person!

Mario’s Special Cucumber Lotion was supposed to be great. Supposed to be.

What they say: “Refreshing, disinfecting and deep cleaning astringent that is effective in drying up existing acne blemishes while preventing new eruptions. Sulfur and soothing Cucumber based, acne fighting formula that is non-drying and non-irritating.” (for combination or oily skin)

At first sight: As mentioned: it looks like pee. Also, it’s a yellow liquid, and though it’s “lotion”, it’s actually a toner. And it smells funny. Like a decaying baby. See my hopes? They’re all dead now.

At first use: The weird smell seems to be stronger on my face, and you can smell a touch of alcohol as well. This didn’t do anything remarkable; I don’t have very oily skin to begin with, and my skin and I get along pretty damn well. So, um, aside from smelling funny, this didn’t do jack.

The verdict: zzz. One more boring product with a strange scent that doesn’t live up to it’s claims.