The thing that’s funny about influencer marketing is that it’s all about the story of you. It’s about finding your own brand in other things, and making that relatable for the reader. So, for people who want to disappear—creating content can be a struggle. Whether it’s a Juicy Couture Oui review ($85 USD) or a few sun-streaked photos of the newest, glossiest launches from NYX, it’s difficult to identify with a product when you don’t want to be identified at all.

Often, I’m happiest clattering away in obscurity: ghostwriting SEO-optimized copy for someone else. At theNotice, I feel like I thrive when I’m purposely obfuscating the point; re-speccing points of my narrative to make them more emotional and less direct. The easiest thing for me is always creating something that almost makes you look at me; something that makes you feel what I’m feeling without, you know—actually saying what’s up. Creating a story around an emotion is easier for me than anything else, and I luxuriate in every excess piece of punctuation.

Setting the stage for a Juicy Couture Oui review

What makes an easy starting point for this story, then, is the new Juicy Couture Oui Eau de Toilette ($85 USD). It captures perfectly one night last summer, holding sweat-sticky hands with Epiphora as we stumbled our way through the typical Montréal construction. (Honestly, the only thing in the world more difficult than walking on cobblestones is walking on wet cobblestones with detour routes—in heels. Are we sure that older cities don’t have higher rates of incidental ankle twisting?)

At the cost of jeopardizing my initial point of this post, let me share with you some more details to set the scene. Piph and I were on holiday (my first trip with a friend!), staying in a beautiful loft convert (the dream), and spending most of our days eating brunch and working on content. We took a night out of our schedule to go to a strip club—my very first, and a moment that, at 26, I had waited years for.

I’ve always been fascinated by pole dancing, and for good reason. It was a phenomenal night: a lovely gentleman bought us a private dance with his favourite performer, and I’ve been quietly jealous of her everything ever since. Think Aphrodite, if she lifted; an infinite amount of smooth skin, marbled muscle, and the most mouthwatering perfume you’ve ever found in the wild. It smelled a lot like this one; almost unassuming in how bright, clean, and juicy it is. 

(The woman I met was wearing Versace Bright Crystal, which is less musky than Juicy Couture Oui is.)

You, too, can power-lift

Last summer’s experience did nothing to allay my theory that strippers are essentially the Serena Williams of the customer service world. So far, every person who I’ve met who has done stripping or pole dancing has fit into a similar aspirational framework. They’ve all been incredibly goal-oriented, professional, and dedicated—on top of being crazy strong.

Most civilians think they could strip in the same way that most men think they could win a point against Serena: in reality, neither could even volley back a single serve. It’s just the scale of their talent that makes their job seem even remotely achievable. 

So, I know: there’s a huge stigma against saying, “this smells like a stripper!” It’s not a surprise, in a world that so often stigmatizes both sex work and the female body.

I leave you here with a challenge: to recognize the work done by womxn, and to question yourself. If it applies, ask yourself why the performative body is less threatening in ballet than in pole dancing to our society, or more acceptable in a Saturday afternoon “Intro to Pole for New Moms” class than it is in a context where people are being paid for their hard work. And then, when you’re done… get ready to spritz, close your eyes, and wander into a world of floral-fruity bliss.

Juicy Couture Oui notes

Juicy Couture Oui notes: Top – watermelon, acai tea natureprint, pear infusion / Middle – jasmine absolute, wild tuberose, dewy honeysuckle natureprint / Base – techno woods, amber resins, captive musks. This is a floral & fruity fragrance, but I find it to mostly smell like a just-burst bubble of fruity bath products. It smells goooood.

Let’s talk more about NYX Filler Instinct and the performative body

(Because that’s what you read blogs for—rigorous thought experiments!)

I’ve struggled with glitter my entire life. Part of it has to do with the fact that glitter is uncomfortable (what? It is!), but part of it also has to do with how it’s associated with being “frivolous” or “girly.” With glitter’s forever-growing influence as a queer signifier, however, I find myself slowly getting more comfortable with it.

In some situations, that is. I still can’t get over the gritty feel of a glitter lipgloss.

NYX Filler Instinct review: Let’s Glaze (clear) and Brunch Drunk (champagne)

NYX Filler Instinct swatches: Let’s Glaze, Brunch Drunk. Indirect sunlight; tingly swatches.

Luckily, NYX’s Filler Instinct Plumping Lip Polish ($10 CAD) doesn’t have the gritty texture associated with large-diameter sparkle. Instead, it’s frosty and finely-milled, with a little bit of beachy pigment in Brunch Drunk and nothing at all in the clear Let’s Glaze. Each plumping product is thick and comfortable, if slightly sticky, and burns like absolute hell when you apply it.

These are exactly what you think they’ll be, and they won’t disappoint. The packaging is clunky and a little tacky (in a good way), with an immediate blood-filling effect. They burn like eating a spicy bowl of noodles: topically irritating, but, at least for an Asian kid, oddly comforting. 

I’m a little more myself with every passing year, and these—these all seem comfortable to me. Comfortable in an expansive way; like they’re welcoming alternate versions of myself that I can opt in to at any point in time.

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These products were gifted by PR for editorial consideration only. I will not be wearing the fanny pack, but I also… can’t seem to convince myself to let anyone else take it from me?