I’m with her


Today, I am heartbroken. It’s tough for me to believe that our cousins down south are filled with so much hate that they would elect a president like Trump. It breaks my heart that so many of them are cheering on all of his abusive, predatory, misogynistic, and racist behaviour.

But today, I also feel something unexpected: pride. I am proud of the 59+ million people who loudly decry his beliefs; of the millions of millennials who got out there and voted (and would have voted in a democrat landslide). I am proud of Hillary Clinton, who faced down the very embodiment of misogyny and came so incredibly close to triumphing over him.

I may not agree with every single thing Hillary has ever done, but you cannot tell me now that she isn’t relatable. We were all Hillary on those debate podiums, being called nasty women and being blamed for our partner’s indiscretions; we were all Hillary being called cold, robotic, and untrustworthy, even though all personal accounts show that we’re thoughtful, compassionate, and goofy.

We were all Hillary, being passed over for an unqualified white male despite years of experience that no one will acknowledge, and being asked to smile as it happened.


You know that feeling of “I don’t like her but I don’t know why” that overtook this election? That’s no more than your standard misogyny, folks. I felt it too. We didn’t trust her because we’ve been taught our entire lives that women cannot be trustworthy, responsible, or powerful, and we didn’t know why because we live within our own cultural rhetoric. It’s hard to see a culture when it is your only point of comparison, just like how it’s hard to see blue through a blue-tinted glass.

Sexism is alive and well in this world, and there is no amount of privilege that can cushion you from its effects. But millions of other people believe in compassion, and one day, our daughters will win this fight.

Today and all days, if you’re with her, I am with you. Know that you are our future, and you are loved.

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  • ChynnaBlue

    I'm with her and I'm with you, too. Thank you.

  • I've been sick to my stomach and crying ever since he gained a lead. I don't know what to do and I'm scared as hell for the world. I can't tell you all my thoughts here but it's going to be catastrophic.
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  • shireenplatt

    This made me cry and like you, I can't believe that he was elected. My heart is broken.
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  • YES. This was a huge message about women in positions of power. A complete slap in the face. The worst is misogyny of women from other women.

  • femputer

    so well written. much love.

  • Thanks for this. Beautifully and eloquently put. I still can't fathom how Trump appealed to so many Americans, and I can only hope his presidency is short and not too painful for the American people and the rest of us. >_<
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  • I'm still in disbelief that an unqualified, poorly educated, and misogynistic figure was elected. You're right. We are all Hillary and the loss last night represented more than just the bid for presidency.

    My recent post After the Election

  • Caela

    Thank you so much for taking the time to address this. It has been a very hard day here; lots of tears out of frustration, disgust, and concern for the safety and well-being of so many marginalized communities. I had a lot riding on Hillary and today… The future feels alarmingly uncertain and dangerous. Her entire campaign, it was embarrassing to have to watch her be consistently slapped in the face, such a qualified candidate pitted against a joke of a man. It has been painfully eye opening.

  • Kate & Zena

    *hugs* I need my Rae hugs. *sniff* *cries*

  • lara

    it's brave of you to say this as a blogger (and risk alienating some readers). xoxo

    • Chinc

      Amen sister, keep up the good fight! <3

  • Alison

    The US election was a total disaster and our world is in deep trouble to have a climate deny-er as president because we have run out the clock on addressing climate. I know just about one person who voted for him. And not to excuse the racism but a lot of Americans feel desperate because all our industries were sent abroad and people are hurting and easily angered. And those jobs that supported the American middle class were sent abroad in trade deals promoted by Democratic presidents. And that happened because all US politicians are bought. Yes, there is misogyny– and Trump is a disgusting person. But this election was not about misogyny. It was about media manipulation and election box rigging. I write this not to pour salt on the wounds we are all feeling. But because it's really essential for women to be better informed and not just buy into what people or the media tell us. When we believe it's all about misogyny, it frees us from scrutinizing candidates, understanding policy, and getting a grasp on what is going on in our country. We are thereby invited to personalize the candidates and be manipulated. Women need to be smarter than that if we want our children to have a viable earth to live on. Both the Democratic primary and the election were rigged– that means that Clinton first won and later lost due to election rigging. Just take that in. This is about money and power. Wall Street and the centers of money and power were perfectly comfortable with both Clinton and Trump. The people are the losers. But to wake up and get involved (not just when we vote but all the time), we need to understand the real stakes.

  • Anna

    I am with her too. I spent the whole day yesterday sulking about this. I respect other people's political stance but this is the one time I just simply cannot understand how anyone can possibly stand on his side. They say you can't just conclude that we're racist, sexist, xenophobic just because we voted for him. Sure, I can't conclude that about you but I cannot understand WHY you voted for a man that embodies all of those.

    I feel much better today. But it breaks my heart when I read so many accounts of blacks, Latinas, Muslims, and members of the LGBT community being bullied ever since he was elected. It's 2016 and I can't believe a country like the US has taken 10 steps back to being in the 1950/60s. It's just so upsetting.

  • Beautifully written… I've always been proud to be Canadian, but even more so this week… while some may not agree with Trudeau… he isn't trying to strip anyone of their rights, and no one woke up in their home scared the morning after he was elected. My heart goes out to those in the States who are feeling that way :(

  • Mary

    Thank you for posting this, Rae. We arelive all working hard to make this better- it is a long shot, but the Electoral College do not submit their votes until December. Protests both virtual and IRL are underway, and petitions are being circulated and signed. This person is not who we chose to be our President.

  • jenna

    I keep trying to remind myself that he didn't win the popular vote, so the majority of american voters didn't want that abhorrent man to become president. I worry so much for muslim, hispanic, african american, and LGBT individuals in the states. It's been just over 24 hours and there are already so many instances of overt racial intolerance popping up. My own friend in ohio was told to 'go back to where she came from' twice yesterday. A country where she was born and raised decided that their internal 'discomfort' was more important than the safety of her existance :(

  • Katherine

    I'm an American who voted for Hillary (and Bernie in the primaries), and I've cried more in the past 36 hours than I have in the past year. I'm scared and hurt and so disappointed that so many of my fellow Americans could vote for someone who has said such awful things about so many groups of people that already have made America great. Already I feel more threatened as a woman, since half of the electorate has decided it's fine to elect someone who assaults women and brags about it. And I am a privileged white woman living in a blue state… I worry so much more about the other women (and minorities, immigrants, LGBT+, those with disabilities, etc.) who do not have it so good. And all of that is before getting into the fact that an extremely qualified presidential candidate couldn't beat someone with absolutely no experience… possibly because she's a woman? Truly, my heart is breaking and I wish this was a nightmare that I could wake up from.

  • I still can't believe it. My heart is broken, and I've been in a state of mourning all week. Just when you think we're making progress we take 10 steps back. We will break that glass ceiling one day though, hopefully one day soon.
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    • Queer Warrior 97

      One day we will sister. I mean if you look at it Hillary was a symbol of the underprivileged trying to fight out against this heteronormative, cisgender, white male, transphobic, islamophobic culture we all live in. She was oppressed. Hell, I'll say it, she is pretty much in the same position of the homeless guy that sits outside your local 7 eleven. Except she doesn't have white privilege. Well she is white, and a millionaire. but she's oppressed!

  • aaaa

    This election makes me ashamed and embarrased to be American. WE did not elect this person. He lost the popular vote by at or around 2 MILLION votes, and that's with only half the country voting, because the rest refused! SHE won. And due to the backwards ass way the system is set up, should I say "rigged" as this orangefaced idiot would say, he somehow wins. I am hopeful that the Electoral College sees the huge spread in vote count of the popular vote, and the way the people feel, and vote their conscience. It will be a travesty either way: for him to continue, or the revolt of his minority followers to feel snubbed when the Electorate hopefully decides he's the wrong choice.