Ads that lack FLARE (super-long photo-heavy post, sorry!)

Friday, April 25, 2008

This month’s issue of Flare was my last – and I’m definitely NOT renewing! Let’s just say that I need a little more substance (just a little – one good article is all I need, seriously!) in a magazine (I mean, I’m getting a Teen Vogue subscription, and might renew my Chatelaine. Seriously!!!)

(One quick comment here:)^^ It’s true. And sometimes, my sister, mom and I each take a section of the shopping list. Because I’m so damn organized, all I have to do is tear it in thirds! :P

But anyhow, I just wanted to make a few points about the ads…

Attacking the Models
Take a look at these opposing pages. The left side is an article about a musician, I believe, and the right one a clothing ad.
Wait, let me show you some close ups. Here’s the “model”: Holy hell! Is that a real, living person? The answer is yes. She is a model, and that is how skinny they are. You thought she should have been dead, didn’t you?
And here’s the “mortal”.
I have no idea who the hell she is, but I would still kill to be her. She’s just right; not overweight but not too skinny. And she has boobs, which I’m hoping are actually hers, or my accusations are unjust. The point is, she’s a gorgeous 34-year-old (see the right side of the picture), and women like her should be the models, not skinny anorexic bitches like the ad girl.

The other support for my point is this lady:She’s pretty, tall, thin, and the ad is gorgeous. But take a look at her face. A close look.Giant under-eye bags. Sure, you might think I’m mean for saying it, but honey, I’ve got a few guesses on why she looks so haggard. They include drugs, which are semi-but-not-very likely, and bulimia – definitely likely. And ‘ya know, if she looks haggard because she was up crying because her dog died, and the makeup artist sucked, and she just stubbed her foot on a table, I’m very sorry – but I highly doubt that.

Attacking the magazine
First off, let it be stated that though I hate this following ad, I am not hating on Drew. I quite like her – nice, clean image. She’s the ‘funny girl’, which personally isn’t my thing, but I have a certain ammount of respect for a celebrity who is not a)on drugs; b)dealing with an eating disorder, lawsuit, or ugly breakup; or c)in rehab.
However, WTF, Flare? The ad looked fine last month, so why is this month’s blue?!
When I first saw it, I was like, “whoa! Strange ad! Pneumoniaface!” but then I was like, “wait, I recognize this…” :P

Also, I’m hating on this tidbit (it counts as advertising. You know they paid for those product placement spots, somehow, sweetie.) Hide wrinkles?! What is she, eighteen? Maybe nineteen? Why would a magazine choose a shot of such a young, fresh, pretty model that very obviously does not have any “wrinkles” to hide?! And what’s so bad about wrinkles? Mom has wrinkles, and she doesn’t wear makeup to hide them! She doesn’t even moisturise with an anti-wrinkle cream! Hell, most days, she doesn’t even moisturise! I’d kill to be as gorgeous as my mother!
(I really like the model, though. She’s pretty, and somehow looks very approachable.)

Attacking the avertisers
The easy lunge:
Dear freya: you make ugly bras. I don’t care if it was made for a J cup. Those bras can be done right, you know. This is not right. Large boobs don’t mean you have to look like a dowdy seventy-year-old! (If they did, Pamela Anderson would be much, much smaller – lol!!) And the ad is tacky, dammit!

Lastly is what I’m hating on most (unbelievable, with all my rage – I know!)
Why? Let’s see: “You’re beautiful and smart…why pay more?” Gee, maybe I’m not beautiful and smart. The only other salespeople I know that immediately flatter you with loud compliments to try and get you to buy crap from them are street vendors in China. And hey, I have a good reason to pay more: to get a good product that will moisturise your lips and not melt off your face!
Also, some colour wouldn’t ‘ve killed you, would it? Please? Some colour?

Rant at me in comments. (Or rave, I’m open to love!) I know I have on moderation, but that is not to screen them, it’s just because I like to be pinged when the come in so I make sure to read them all!!

Have a good weekend – I’m relying on this super-long post to tide us all over so I won’t have to post until Monday or Tuesday, ‘kay? You know I adore blogging, but I’ve got a packed week coming up that I have to prep for!!

FYI

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Sunday (that is the 27th) at Sears’ Edmonton locations before 2pm: (almost) all lingerie 1/2 price!! (And women’s and men’s underwear etc)

I know, I know: it’s Sears! But they do carry nice bras (run-of-the-mill Triumph, Maidenform, and such.), and I need a new strapless before May 10th (my voice recital; strapless dress). I’m not one to pass up an opportunity to buy a $50 bra for $25!!

Worth the Hype? Cetaphil

There are two ‘big names’ when it comes to cleansing: one is Cetaphil, known for its simple formula that’s said to be great for sensitive skin. The other is water. Really, we all use it to cleanse!

Anyhow, on a less punny note…

I’ve tried Cetaphil. I’ve also tried to like it. I’ve tried on many occasions. But y’know what? It’s just not happening! I do not like Cetaphil! (There, I said it. Are you happy now?) It made me break out, and was simply boring. I like cleansers that foam, or smell good, or make my skin squeaky-clean – this was so plain that it didn’t touch on any one of those. I didn’t look forward to using it, as I do with my usual crop of cleaners. Plus, the whole breaking out thing was a downer!!

I’m hoping for no hate mail on this one, but if you really insist, I guess I can’t stop you! :P (Oh, and I hate the packaging revamp. How totally cheap does it look now? Yah. Cheaper than Wet n’ Wild cheap. Cheaper than the 99cent store cheap. Cheeeeeeap!)

The verdict: Not worth the hype. I hate, hate, hate, this product!

Also: the Worth the Hype? series is almost over, so if there is anything you think I may have missed, please feel free to comment on this post or email me within the next few days!!

Gossip

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Oh my god!!

I just finished watching the new Gossip Girl ep (I know, I’m a little slow on the uptake. I’ve been busy!) - so, so, so good! As in, even better than I remember from the first half of the season! I’m soooo excited for next week’s!

Worth the Hype? Super Skinny Serum

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Paul Mitchell’s Super Skinny Serum. Bliss. I don’t have a single friend with rogue hair that hasn’t loved this product. The downside? It’s expensive stuff! However, you only need a tiny bit, and it works amazingly to calm unruly hair, even to stop flyaways before they happen. (Full review here)

The verdict: Worth the hype!

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